It almost feels wrong to call Things a movie. Things is more of an experience. It opens with a basement nightmare — at least, we hope it’s a nightmare — then eases into the main action of two bored Canadian guys trying to kill time in a dingy house while their buddy Doug sits in the next room. They find a tape in the freezer full of demonic recordings. They put tap water in their beer to make it better. They make a cockroach sandwich. And, eventually, some Things show up from another dimension. They’re bug monsters that don’t move because they’re not even puppets. The hosers go to battle with the bugs, using tiny chainsaws and drills. Meanwhile the movie goes to battle with your senses, as you try to make sense of what you’re seeing and hearing. Fortunately, we’re here to help guide you, or at least share in the “HUH?”