Opening number, "Toot Toot Tootsie" (Kahn/Erdman/Russo/Fiorito) (all)

The Bradys discuss whether they're any better than average and whether Mike can even sing.

(Commercial break)

Merrill introduces a mystery guest. It's Charo. Merrill tells her he had Spanish ancestors, but they were travel agents. Charo is soon infuriated.

Dissolve to:

Charo plays "Malaguena" (Banks/Lecuona) on the guitar.

Dissolve to:

Marcia protests the treatment of Mike in the opening. She introduces this sketch:

Carol rehearses singing while the kids rehearse a dance number. Mike comes home. They discuss their various talents. Merrill shows up singing. Carol tells him to butt out. Mike says he hired Merrill to help him with his singing. No one in the family will help Mike.

(Commercial break)

Mike is on the soundstage practicing guitar. Charo enters and complains about being misunderstood by English speakers. Mike shows her his guitar work. She thinks it's a joke. She offers to help. They try "I've