Fans of the Week: Middlesbrough. Score in LOBSTAR: Two.

Footballer Guest: Gianluca Festa (Middlesbrough) Other Guest: Mark Williams (Fast Show, The Strangerers) (Villa fan)

Footballing Phono Nono's

1. Shearer retirement 2. De Goey - basic error 3. David Beckham's lifestyle 4. Ryan Giggs - on fire 5. Gazza - made an example of 6. The bloomin' Brits (Helen spelt it blummin')

Soccerette: Called Ruth, age 21, 5 foot 4, from Sussex, supports Chelsea.

Can He Kick It? Guest: Alex Williams (ex Man City etc) Could He Kick It? No - another Cat save.