At the top of the show, the guys try to explain the origins of Independence Day and why we celebrate the day. Mole talks about the new diet he’s on, and they briefly discuss Perry’s bygone drug days. The guys also take a call from John Quincy Adams, and roll through a segment of Guy Talk.

Don is then pleased to announce a number of new sponsors, including Mattress King Neil Leeds and ASM Plumbing & Porn. The guys then do a second round of Guy Talk. During Mole Play, the guys re-enact the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and the show wraps up with Perry’s Corner, with Perry trying to make amends for arguing with Don so much.